Out of the Darkness

river
Today I reached out to my doctor, I need help. The past month I’ve been seeing a new doctor, before today I did not tell the doctor I have depression. He asked me many questions and I told him everything, holding back the tears.

I told him how I feel, suicide thoughts the whole a lot, I decided if I don’t tell him I won’t get the right help that I need.

I’ve been struggling since August, I did a post in September since then I’ve been seeing my mental health worker but I still don’t feel any better.

The doctor decided to put me on an antidepressant, I agree with him, tonight I’m going to start them. He also told me he might send me to get a full mental assessment. I’m going back to him in three weeks.

I already know if I don’t take the antidepressant I won’t get better and I will stay like I am. I don’t want to be like how I am and I can’t always have the happy face mask on.

People think I’m ok but I’m not ok.

I should have asked for help months ago but I thought I could (I always think) deal with depression on my own but I can’t.

Thanks for reading.

If you are depressed please visit your doctor and ask for help, it’s ok to ask for help, don’t do it on your own.

posted on January 9, 2013 Posted in Depression

Comments

  1. Robyn (@slightly_deep) says:
    9 January, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    I know how you feel. I saw my Doctor yesterday and finally took the mask off with someone that isn’t family. It’s awful, feeling this way. I hope we can both stop feeling this way soon xxx
    Robyn (@slightly_deep) recently posted..For him

  2. iSophie says:
    11 January, 2013 at 7:10 am

    I hope you can find your way out of the dark. Take care of yourself, keep communicating.

    XX

  3. Rebecca Mugridge says:
    11 January, 2013 at 7:12 am

    I really feel for you, I had Post natal depression after my first and I became adept at letting people think I was OK when I most definitely was not OK.
    Getting help is such a huge step, admitting we are not OK takes real courage.
    For me it felt like a big heavy cloud covered my life, and no blue sky could get through, until it started too, little bit by little bit, until eventually one day I realised it was now a clear sky.
    Support plays a big part too along with the help from the doctor and exercise (walking) also helped me personally so much.
    HUGS & best wishes
    Rebecca x

  4. Penny says:
    11 January, 2013 at 7:13 am

    You’re getting help now honey and that’s what matters. I’m so glad you made the step to get better, to put yourself first.

  5. Mandy says:
    11 January, 2013 at 7:32 am

    Glad to hear you’re now getting the help you need. Absolutely go there whole heartedly, I hope you feel a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. Visiting from fybf
    Mandy recently posted..Grateful ~ Finding Joy in Friendships

  6. Janet says:
    11 January, 2013 at 9:52 am

    Good on you for seeking help.There is no shame to being on medication. I’ve been on Zoloft for about 14 years! Hey if it works – it works.
    Janet recently posted..Thumbs Down Award

  7. Catherine Rodie Blagg says:
    11 January, 2013 at 1:02 pm

    The first step is being honest about where you are at. I’m so glad that you have sought the help you need xx
    Catherine Rodie Blagg recently posted..The list

  8. Emily says:
    11 January, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    Good on your for getting help, putting it out there and all the best from now on.
    Emily
    Emily recently posted..A mother’s guilt runs deep and is never ending

  9. Grace says:
    12 January, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    It’s a big step in admitting you have depression and seeing a doctor. It’s taken me years and years to finally come to grips with it so I know where you’re coming from. Just take every day as it comes and remember to be easy on yourself. Sending big hugs x
    Grace recently posted..FYBF Featured Flogger – Tracey from Bliss Amongst Chaos