What I’m going to share in this blog post is going to be sensitive.
Please read on if you like.
I have not shared my story about losing my baby… My husband does not know the full story.
When I was 15 and a half I was pregnant, before I fell pregnant I was abused each day by the father, I was living on edge each day, most days I did not see sunshine or night, while I was inside I was getting hit, and ordered what to do. Then I found I was pregnant I did not know what to do, I was alone, I had no family no one. Each day was getting bad for me. Ex’s mother bought a puppy I loved, I had a little friend who I talked to each day. Ex started work and doing drugs I was still not allowed to leave the house. Well we were not living in a house we were in 1 hotel room with bathroom and kitchen was part of our bedroom I had nowhere to go. Only time I was alone was when I was in the shower, ex’s mother stayed in the room while he worked. At 4 months pregnant I did not want to live but I took each day has it come hopefully I could escape from the hell I was living.
At 6 months pregnant I went for a scan to found out if I was having a girl or boy, the scan show I was having a baby girl. I enjoyed feeling her kicking and I talked to her all the time.
Each time I cry because I was hurting I used to get bashed so I learn to not have tears any more.
I was in living hell but did not know what to do, I was confused.
One day I was waiting for the ex to arrive home from work, I wish the day never come, ex was off his face and ready to hurt me bad I saw it in his eye’s.
But I was spared for half hour ex turn to the dog and started to hurt the dog I stepped in and I got thrown to the ground, I was on floor and ex picked the dog up and rub the dog in my face and the dog took its last breath, I thought I was going to die next.
I was still on the ground and ex starting kicking me in my tummy and near my vaginal Area, I felt my baby kick then no more kick’s, I knew she was gone I was spared my life but I did not want to live any more I lost everything in that room that day.
Lucky I finally got a hold of a friend and he took me in while I found somewhere safe.
To this day I’m still having problems, each time Daniel raise his arm to hug me I get scared, I still can’t cry with tears, I can’t go to the shop by myself. My brother or Daniel has to come with me. I’m still suffering. We are having trouble with conceiving because of what happen, I wish I could turn back time.
I still thinking about my baby girl, I love you sorry I could not protect you.
I’m very grateful for Daniel sticking by me while I still struggle. Someday I don’t want to wake up because of the pain I have…
One wish I have is for children with Daniel. I’m hoping soon it’ll happen for us.
Baby girl I know you be with our other angels in heaven.
Thanks for reading.