In January I posted about my ongoing battle with depression.

After the last post, I started an antidepressant and saw my doctor weekly but something soon happened and I went downhill quickly. My doctor and mental health worker told me to go the mental health unit to get the right help but I said I will be ok.

In February few a weeks after our 4th wedding anniversary I could not cope anymore and I had a nervous breakdown and self-harmed, I was broken and numb.

Daniel called my mental health worker and told her what happened and she said to Daniel to bring me in, I sat there numb and barley able to talk. Again I was told to go to the mental health unit to get the right help after the appointment, so I asked Daniel to call them and see what to do.

I got an appointment with the mental health unit and I went to it. I went in to get help but I did not get the help I needed. I got treated really bad and the nurse said to me they won’t help me because I did not harm myself well enough. I walked out crying, I was only asking for help but made it worse.

Daniel decided with the help from a close friend to take me away on a holiday, we decided to go to the Gold Coast. We stayed at the Q1, visited shopping centers and we went to Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary. I finally had a real smile on my face after month’s of fake smiles. When we visited the Currumbin wildlife Sanctuary, I held a Koala, pat and fed Kangaroos and saw many other animals. I also decided to get a haircut while we were away for the new me.

After our 5 day holiday, I felt refreshed but far from better. It wasn’t long after and I was back to the way I was before feeling like I couldn’t help the way I feel and no one was going to help me.

After being advised to, I decided to go to sexual assault counselling, to get help for the long history of child abuse, when I went to the first appointment I felt I was not going to get the right help but I was wrong. The lady I saw understood and listened to me, I think they are going to help.

I went back to the doctor and talked to him about the pain and the abnormal periods I’ve been having the past few months, he said it could be endometriosis. My doctor decided to give me a referral to a private GYNO. We saw the GYNO last week and we finally have the right help. With the GYNO explaining endometriosis to us, we decided to go on the pill for six months and miss the sugar pill so I don’t have my period for six months. I go back to the GYNO in September and he might do surgery to see how things are and if things are ok and we are ready to we will start trying for a baby with the help from the GYNO, he said to us it was good we came in now than when pregnant because my depression could get worse. He also sent a referral to a private psychologist. We are going to save some money before we make the appointment.

We finally have the right path with getting help for myself. I’m taking each day as it comes.

Would like to say sorry to IsoWhey, and thanks for understanding. Soon there will posts going up again as I plan to restart my isoWhey journey but with more to prove to myself.

Thanks for reading.